Freeman's Mind： Episode 15-choM0W2tc78.en.srt

#100:00:02,502→00:00:06,601

[Subtitles by danielsangeo]

#200:00:07,422→00:00:10,013

[Geiger counter clicks] Eh, I'm being squeamish about this.

#300:00:10,013→00:00:11,257

[Geiger counter clicks] I have my suit on.

#400:00:11,257→00:00:12,284

[Geiger counter clicks] It'll protect me.

#500:00:12,284→00:00:13,845

[Geiger counter clicks] I'm just missing the helmet.

#600:00:13,845→00:00:15,349

[Geiger counter clicks] So, worst case scenario,

#700:00:15,349→00:00:17,435

[Geiger counter clicks] we're only talking brain cancer.

#800:00:17,435→00:00:18,752

[Geiger counter clicks] I can live with that.

#900:00:18,752→00:00:20,613

[Geiger counter clicks] Actually, that's kind of the point,

#1000:00:20,613→00:00:23,174

[Geiger counter clicks, bullsquid spits] I CAN live with--

#1100:00:23,174→00:00:25,639

[Geiger counter clicks, bullsquid spits] God damn! Get a handkerchief!

#1200:00:25,639→00:00:28,747

[Geiger counter clicks, bullsquid spits]

#1300:00:28,747→00:00:29,915

[Geiger counter clicks, bullsquid moans] Snot monster!

#1400:00:29,915→00:00:31,026

[Geiger counter clicks] That's your new name.

#1500:00:31,026→00:00:31,902

[Geiger counter clicks]

#1600:00:31,902→00:00:34,087

[Geiger counter clicks] But, yeah, unlike my colleagues,

#1700:00:34,087→00:00:36,719

[Geiger counter clicks] I seem to have a tendency to stay alive.

#1800:00:36,719→00:00:38,687

[Geiger counter clicks] Since this morning, I've been bitten,

#1900:00:38,687→00:00:39,707

[Geiger counter clicks] shot,

#2000:00:39,707→00:00:40,494

[Geiger counter clicks] bombed,

#2100:00:40,494→00:00:41,806

[Geiger counter clicks] electrocuted,

#2200:00:41,806→00:00:43,172

[Geiger counter clicks] almost drowned,

#2300:00:43,172→00:00:44,918

[Geiger counter clicks] almost fallen to my death,

#2400:00:44,918→00:00:46,001

[Geiger counter clicks] and strangled.

#2500:00:46,001→00:00:48,203

[Geiger counter clicks] Rasputin wasn't so lucky.

#2600:00:48,203→00:00:51,454

[Geiger counter clicks] But here I am, exposing myself to radiation.

#2700:00:51,454→00:00:52,256

[Geiger counter clicks] Why not?

#2800:00:52,256→00:00:53,581

[Geiger counter clicks] Let's add to the list.

#2900:00:53,581→00:00:56,106

[Geiger counter clicks] Maybe I can get burned, stabbed, and poisoned

#3000:00:56,106→00:00:57,822

[Geiger counter clicks] before the day's done.

#3100:00:57,822→00:00:59,451

[Geiger counter clicks] This is another dead end.

#3200:00:59,451→00:01:00,918

[Geiger counter clicks] Or maybe it's just flooded

#3300:01:00,918→00:01:02,963

[Geiger counter clicks] by radioactive green crap.

#3400:01:02,963→00:01:05,274

[Geiger counter clicks] Oh man, I wonder this is that same spill

#3500:01:05,274→00:01:06,427

[Geiger counter clicks] from this morning.

#3600:01:06,427→00:01:09,306

[Geiger counter clicks] That could be seeping everywhere!

#3700:01:09,306→00:01:11,734

I'm not going to drink from the water fountains anymore.

#3800:01:13,094→00:01:14,400

Oh, hey, this is smart.

#3900:01:15,047→00:01:16,467

This is a great idea!

#4000:01:17,257→00:01:19,406

Yeah, let's crawl into this drainage pipe!

#4100:01:19,406→00:01:22,026

How could this NOT be the right way?

#4200:01:22,026→00:01:25,146

Actually, I always wished I could just hop in a giant pneumatic tube

#4300:01:25,146→00:01:26,968

that would take me from my home to work,

#4400:01:27,283→00:01:28,601

or to the liquor store,

#4500:01:29,088→00:01:30,016

the pharmacy,

#4600:01:30,564→00:01:32,200

chemical supply warehouse...

#4700:01:32,729→00:01:34,513

it would be really efficient.

#4800:01:34,513→00:01:35,595

I am a gopher!

#4900:01:35,595→00:01:37,457

[bullsquid spits] Oh, no, dammit!

#5000:01:37,457→00:01:39,107

Snot rag...

#5100:01:39,107→00:01:40,901

NONE OF YOU ARE HOUSEBROKEN!

#5200:01:41,739→00:01:42,447

[bullsquid groans]

#5300:01:42,447→00:01:45,100

I wonder if this is what being a dog catcher is like.

#5400:01:45,100→00:01:47,803

Actually, I don't think they get shotguns.

#5500:01:47,803→00:01:50,090

You probably have to provide your own.

#5600:01:50,090→00:01:51,968

[bullsquid spits] God... more?!

#5700:01:53,409→00:01:54,000

[bullsquid spits] Eugh!

#5800:01:54,611→00:01:57,093

[bullsquid moans]

#5900:01:57,093→00:01:59,381

This is a pet-trainer's nightmare.

#6000:01:59,381→00:02:03,551

You try and get it to behave and all it does is puke snot on you and moan.

#6100:02:03,551→00:02:04,868

This looks promising.

#6200:02:06,392→00:02:09,014

I'd like to see a dog catcher handle this.

#6300:02:09,014→00:02:12,210

If an alien teleported outside, I could call them up and say,

#6400:02:12,210→00:02:14,932

"Yeah, I got a dog here. He's real mean."

#6500:02:14,932→00:02:16,124

[bullsquids spit, Geiger counter clicks] Then the catcher would arrive

#6600:02:16,124→00:02:17,301

[bullsquids spit, Geiger counter clicks] expecting a dog and get

#6700:02:17,301→00:02:19,209

[bullsquids spit, Geiger counter clicks] one of these bastards instead.

#6800:02:19,209→00:02:21,264

[bullsquids spit, Geiger counter clicks] And he can't just run away because--

#6900:02:21,264→00:02:21,669

[bullsquids spit, Geiger counter clicks] Dammit.

#7000:02:21,669→00:02:26,274

[bullsquids spit, Geiger counter clicks]

#7100:02:26,274→00:02:28,260

[Geiger counter clicks] He can't just run away because technically

#7200:02:28,260→00:02:29,940

[Geiger counter clicks] his job is animal control,

#7300:02:29,940→00:02:31,439

[Geiger counter clicks] and this is an animal.

#7400:02:31,439→00:02:32,337

[Geiger counter clicks] It would be better if you could

#7500:02:32,337→00:02:34,288

[Geiger counter clicks] get some kids out on the street watching him

#7600:02:34,288→00:02:35,482

[Geiger counter clicks] so it guilts him into wrestling

#7700:02:35,482→00:02:36,452

[Geiger counter clicks] with the thing.

#7800:02:36,452→00:02:38,145

[Geiger counter clicks] Man, I'd videotape that.

#7900:02:38,145→00:02:38,983

[Geiger counter clicks]

#8000:02:38,983→00:02:41,770

[Geiger counter clicks] This is a lot of radioactive crap.

#8100:02:41,770→00:02:43,857

[Geiger counter clicks] I bet some people would pay money to get bit

#8200:02:43,857→00:02:45,574

[Geiger counter clicks] a radioactive alien.

#8300:02:45,574→00:02:46,631

[Geiger counter clicks] Not me!

#8400:02:46,631→00:02:47,939

[Geiger counter clicks] I know better!

#8500:02:47,939→00:02:48,467

[Geiger counter clicks] That always--

#8600:02:48,784→00:02:50,776

[Geiger counter clicks] pissed me off about Spider-Man,

#8700:02:50,776→00:02:51,491

[bullsquids spit, Geiger counter clicks] how he got...

#8800:02:51,491→00:02:52,906

[bullsquids spit, Geiger counter clicks]

#8900:02:52,906→00:02:53,544

[bullsquids spit, Geiger counter clicks] NO!

#9000:02:53,544→00:02:54,098

[Geiger counter clicks] BAD THING!

#9100:02:54,098→00:02:55,402

[Geiger counter clicks]

#9200:02:55,402→00:02:56,058

[Geiger counter clicks] BAD!

#9300:02:56,058→00:02:57,740

[Geiger counter clicks]

#9400:02:57,740→00:02:59,374

[Geiger counter clicks] ...how Spider-Man got super powers

#9500:02:59,374→00:03:01,135

[Geiger counter clicks] by bitten by a radioactive...

#9600:03:01,135→00:03:01,587

[Geiger counter clicks]

#9700:03:01,587→00:03:02,662

[Geiger counter clicks] ...spider.

#9800:03:02,662→00:03:04,538

[Geiger counter clicks] That is such bullshit.

#9900:03:04,538→00:03:05,273

[Geiger counter clicks] For starters,

#10000:03:05,273→00:03:09,238

the odds of a random mutation being beneficial are astronomical.

#10100:03:09,238→00:03:11,890

But, more importantly, even if you did get one,

#10200:03:11,890→00:03:14,066

you'd still have radiation poisoning.

#10300:03:14,066→00:03:17,467

Comic book writers know about as much about science as I know about...

#10400:03:18,200→00:03:22,518

...well, I'm not a good example since I know almost everything, but...

#10500:03:22,518→00:03:24,685

the point is, they could try harder.

#10600:03:24,685→00:03:26,319

Hey, I'm up higher.

#10700:03:26,319→00:03:27,957

I wasn't even paying attention.

#10800:03:27,957→00:03:30,280

I wish I could just will myself out of here like--

#10900:03:30,280→00:03:31,011

[bullsquid grunts] Daah!

#11000:03:31,011→00:03:32,348

[bullsquid grunts]

#11100:03:32,348→00:03:34,534

I hate awkward pauses like this.

#11200:03:36,158→00:03:37,023

[bullsquid moans]

#11300:03:37,023→00:03:39,900

Of course, I'm the one who has to break the ice.

#11400:03:39,900→00:03:42,640

I have to do everything around here.

#11500:03:42,640→00:03:43,334

[houndeye squeals] Stop that!

#11600:03:44,026→00:03:45,458

Ah hah hah hah!

#11700:03:45,458→00:03:48,212

Today's lesson is on muzzle energy and momentum.

#11800:03:48,212→00:03:50,234

[houndeye charges up]

#11900:03:51,925→00:03:53,763

Wow, that was fun.

#12000:03:53,763→00:03:58,015

This might my second calling after physics--shooting stuff?

#12100:03:58,015→00:03:59,527

I don't want to join the military, though,

#12200:03:59,527→00:04:03,475

because there would always be someone giving me orders telling me what to shoot.

#12300:04:03,475→00:04:05,403

And they'd want me to lose my beard.

#12400:04:05,403→00:04:06,467

Fuck that.

#12500:04:06,467→00:04:08,430

I don't get what the big deal is with that.

#12600:04:08,430→00:04:11,891

Soldiers had beards in the Civil War, it worked for them.

#12700:04:11,891→00:04:13,044

[houndeye chirruping] Oh, I see you.

#12800:04:13,044→00:04:14,857

[explosion] WHOA!

#12900:04:14,857→00:04:16,821

COMBO PLATTER!

#13000:04:16,821→00:04:18,710

Hope I don't need to go that way.

#13100:04:18,710→00:04:21,296

I wasn't really expecting that to happen.

#13200:04:21,296→00:04:23,463

I DO need to go that way.

#13300:04:23,463→00:04:25,132

Hey! You're hiding!

#13400:04:25,132→00:04:25,534

[houndeye charging up]

#13500:04:26,517→00:04:29,520

I play hide-and-go-seek for keeps.

#13600:04:29,520→00:04:31,644

You should've picked a better spot.

#13700:04:31,644→00:04:33,868

No one hides from me.

#13800:04:34,352→00:04:37,422

[bullsquid spits] Wow, those snot freaks have good eyesight.

#13900:04:37,422→00:04:38,801

[bullsquid spits]

#14000:04:38,801→00:04:40,424

[bullsquid spits] God, I can barely see it.

#14100:04:40,424→00:04:45,121

[bullsquid spits]

#14200:04:45,121→00:04:45,979

[bullsquid spits] Come on!

#14300:04:45,979→00:04:47,361

[bullsquid spits]

#14400:04:47,361→00:04:49,054

[bullsquid spits] I need a scoped rifle.

#14500:04:49,054→00:04:50,716

[bullsquid moans]

#14600:04:50,716→00:04:52,594

See, I'm behind the curve on this stuff

#14700:04:52,594→00:04:54,945

because I've never tried to kill the president.

#14800:04:54,945→00:04:56,374

I've never wanted to.

#14900:04:56,374→00:05:00,030

Because I know as soon as I did, they'd just replace him with somebody else,

#15000:05:00,030→00:05:01,932

so it's like, what's the point?

#15100:05:01,932→00:05:05,357

Yep, this is the work of that same catwalk contractor.

#15200:05:05,357→00:05:06,979

Okay, I can jump this.

#15300:05:06,979→00:05:09,245

I'm flying on the wings of radiation.

#15400:05:10,524→00:05:12,089

Yeah.

#15500:05:12,089→00:05:14,391

I wasn't worried about not making the jump,

#15600:05:14,391→00:05:16,063

but I honestly thought the platform might

#15700:05:16,063→00:05:17,423

collapse from under me.

#15800:05:17,423→00:05:19,533

[lock buzzes] That's the kind of day this has been.

#15900:05:19,533→00:05:21,000

RRRRR!

#16000:05:22,864→00:05:23,567

NO!

#16100:05:24,949→00:05:27,100

GOD DAMMIT! THERE'S NOT EVEN A DOORKNOB!

#16200:05:29,340→00:05:30,687

[metal banging] Wait, what's that?

#16300:05:30,687→00:05:31,067

[metal banging] What?

#16400:05:32,422→00:05:34,958

I thought I heard somebody tapping out Morse Code.

#16500:05:34,958→00:05:37,635

Why do I care? I don't even know Morse Code.

#16600:05:37,635→00:05:38,300

Ngh.

#16700:05:39,089→00:05:39,701

It switched back...

#16800:05:40,764→00:05:41,651

Who are you?

#16900:05:41,651→00:05:42,200

YAH!

#17000:05:44,047→00:05:44,667

Yuck.

#17100:05:44,828→00:05:47,329

[metal banging]

#17200:05:47,329→00:05:48,991

[metal banging] God, what is that noise?

#17300:05:48,991→00:05:49,948

[metal banging] It sounds like the drummer

#17400:05:49,948→00:05:52,036

[metal banging] to some shitty garage band.

#17500:05:52,036→00:05:53,368

[moaning] Man, I'm getting old.

#17600:05:53,368→00:05:54,538

[moaning] This modern day music

#17700:05:54,538→00:05:56,381

[moaning] just sounds like noise to me.

#17800:05:56,381→00:05:57,337

[moaning] "Bang bang bang."

#17900:05:57,337→00:05:58,358

[moaning] It doesn't even have a beat.

#18000:05:58,358→00:06:00,930

[metal banging] SCIENTIST: Fire the... rocket engine...

#18100:06:00,930→00:06:02,333

[metal banging] SCIENTIST: Destroy the damned thing

#18200:06:02,333→00:06:03,977

[metal banging] SCIENTIST: before it grows any larger.

#18300:06:03,977→00:06:04,745

[metal banging]

#18400:06:04,745→00:06:05,390

[metal banging] SCIENTIST: Dah!

#18500:06:05,390→00:06:08,346

[metal banging] I know! This music sucks, right?

#18600:06:08,346→00:06:10,414

[metal banging] Don't worry, I'll go make them turn it off.

#18700:06:10,414→00:06:12,121

[moaning] It's ridiculous.

#18800:06:12,121→00:06:14,153

[moaning]

#18900:06:14,153→00:06:15,864

[metal banging] Yuck.

#19000:06:15,864→00:06:18,250

[metal banging] God, that's a lot of meat there.

#19100:06:18,250→00:06:20,270

[metal banging] I wonder how much these things can hold.

#19200:06:20,270→00:06:22,333

[metal banging] Like, if I could a herd a cow in here,

#19300:06:22,333→00:06:24,523

[moaning] would it be able to lift it all up and eat it?

#19400:06:24,523→00:06:25,779

[metal banging] It's worth finding out.

#19500:06:25,779→00:06:26,997

[moaning]

#19600:06:26,997→00:06:28,832

[metal banging] Are you the one making all that noise?

#19700:06:28,832→00:06:31,675

[scientist screams] MONKEY ON A STICK!

#19800:06:31,675→00:06:33,978

WE'RE GETTING FINGERED BY GODZILLA!

#19900:06:33,978→00:06:34,887

SCIENTIST: NO! NO!

#20000:06:34,887→00:06:36,361

SCIENTIST: GET IT OFF ME! GET IT OFF! FUCK!

#20100:06:36,361→00:06:37,667

[scientist screams] Nnnnghh...

#20200:06:37,667→00:06:38,442

[moaning]

#20300:06:38,442→00:06:41,738

Okay, I was waiting for an opportunity to use this.

#20400:06:41,738→00:06:44,142

And here it is. It's obvious.

#20500:06:44,142→00:06:47,621

A HANDFUL OF SHRAPNEL MAKES THE MEDICINE GO DOWN!

#20600:06:47,621→00:06:49,558

[explosion, tentacles moan]

#20700:06:49,558→00:06:51,974

[tentacles moan] That'll teach you from making so much noise.

#20800:06:51,974→00:06:54,204

You're lucky I don't call the cops,

#20900:06:54,204→00:06:57,247

banging around like you're more important than me.

#21000:06:57,247→00:06:58,963

What's this? "Test Fire"?

#21100:06:58,963→00:06:59,933

Yes!

#21200:06:59,933→00:07:00,675

[panel buzzes]

#21300:07:00,675→00:07:01,821

[tentacles moans] Damn...!

#21400:07:01,821→00:07:02,703

[tentacles moans] I should get out here,

#21500:07:02,703→00:07:05,121

[tentacles moans] I really wasn't ready for this.

#21600:07:05,121→00:07:06,172

[tentacles moans] I was expecting some

#21700:07:06,172→00:07:08,245

[tentacles moans] shitty drummer practicing, or

#21800:07:08,245→00:07:10,599

[tentacles moans] maybe some scientist into indie music

#21900:07:10,599→00:07:13,216

[tentacles moans] playing some weird-ass whale song remix,

#22000:07:13,216→00:07:14,841

[metal banging] but not this.

#22100:07:14,841→00:07:16,973

[metal banging] This is even worse.

#22200:07:16,973→00:07:18,797

[metal banging] That's not a rope.

#22300:07:18,797→00:07:20,667

[metal banging] You can't fool me.

#22400:07:20,667→00:07:23,645

[metal banging]

#22500:07:23,645→00:07:26,267

[metal banging] Agh, God! Jesus...

#22600:07:26,267→00:07:28,019

[metal banging] It's all over me.

#22700:07:28,019→00:07:29,410

[metal banging] That's right, the old layer

#22800:07:29,410→00:07:30,800

[metal banging] was starting to dry,

#22900:07:30,800→00:07:33,609

[metal banging] better baste a new layer of blood on me.

#23000:07:33,609→00:07:34,697

[tentacles moan] It's important to I maintain

#23100:07:34,697→00:07:37,167

[tentacles moan] a fresh coat of blood on me at all times.

#23200:07:37,167→00:07:38,528

[tentacles moan] Helps my sheen.

#23300:07:38,528→00:07:41,232

[tentacles moan] GUARD: Be quiet! This thing hears us.

#23400:07:41,232→00:07:42,987

[tentacles moan] I'll say anything damned thing I want.

#23500:07:42,987→00:07:44,166

[tentacles moan]

#23600:07:44,166→00:07:46,006

[tentacles moan] Whoa.

#23700:07:46,006→00:07:47,818

[tentacles moan] Don't light a match.

#23800:07:47,818→00:07:48,482

[tentacles moan] GUARD: HEY!

#23900:07:48,482→00:07:48,791

[tentacles moan] Hey.

#24000:07:48,791→00:07:50,011

[tentacles moan] GUARD: HEY, OVER HERE!

#24100:07:50,011→00:07:50,589

[tentacles moan] I'm behind you.

#24200:07:50,589→00:07:52,569

[tentacles moan] GUARD: EAT LEAD, YOU OUTER SPACE OCTOP--!

#24300:07:52,569→00:07:54,283

[metal banging] OH! Shit...!

#24400:07:54,283→00:07:55,405

[metal banging]

#24500:07:55,405→00:07:56,133

[metal banging] I'll just...

#24600:07:56,133→00:07:57,790

[metal banging]

#24700:07:57,790→00:07:59,920

[metal banging] Yeah, I'd better chill here for a minute.

#24800:07:59,920→00:08:00,988

[metal banging]

#24900:08:00,988→00:08:03,570

[tentacles moan]

#25000:08:03,570→00:08:05,194

[tentacles moan] I'm going to need some earplugs.

#25100:08:05,194→00:08:10,400

[tentacles moan]